Monday, July 9, 2007

fUnnY qUotes....mY fAvs...

» Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

» If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

» I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

» I’m smiling. This should scare you.

» The universe is laughing behind your back.

» Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

» I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

» A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

» I’m not sure what’s wrong… But it’s probably your fault.

» This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

» I never admit or deny anything it makes me more interesting.

» By the time you read this you’ve already read it.

» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

» I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A tribute 2 all d SW Engg.

Apne Project ke bojh tale daba jaa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,




zindagi se hara hua hai,


par "Bugs" se haar nahi manata,


Apne application ki ek ek line ise rati hui hai,


par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain , ye nahi janata,




din par din ek excel file banata ja raha hai


Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,




das hazaar line ke code main error dhoond lete hain lekin,


majboor dost ki ankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti,


pc pe hazaar windows khuli hain,


par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti,




satuday-sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naharaha hai,


Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,




Coding karte karte pata hi nahi chala,


bugs ki priority kab maa-baap se high ho gayi,


kitabon main gulab rakhne wala , cigerette ke dhuyen main kho gaya,


dil ki zameen se armaanon ki vidayi ho gayi,




weekends pe daroo peke jo jashna mana raha hai,


Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,




maze lena ho iske to pooch lo,


"Salary Increment" ki party kab dila rahe ho,


hansi udana ho to pooch lo,


"Onsite" kab ja rahe ho?




wo dekho onsite se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,


Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,




kharche badh rahe hain,


baal kam ho rahe hain,


KRA ki date ati nahi,


Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,




lo phir se bus choot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai,


Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,




Pizza gale se nahi utarta,


to "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai,


office ki "Thali" dekh munh hai bigadta,


maa ke hath ka wo khana baar roz yaad ata hai,




"Sprout bhel" bani hai phir bhi, free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,


Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,




aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiya,


Software engg. ke jivan ka sach batati ye akhri kuch panktiyan,




hazaron ki tankhwah wala, company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,


software engg. wahi ban sakta hai, jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,



hum log jee jee ke marte hain , zindagi hai kuch aisi,


ek fauj ki naukri, doosri software engg. ki , dono ek jaisi,




is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,


Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

career counSeLLin - y (not)2 joIn a cALL cEntEr..

1. You have not finished your studies. You know mainstream knowledge
based companies will not touch you.

2. You have just passed high school. Or failed in high school. Reason
enough to join a call center.

3. You have become senior, only by age, without any significant
experience on any industry vertical.

4. You want to get rid of your present job at any cost

5. Your MBA/Engineering/GMAT/TOEFL/GRE/MCA entrance exam result will
be out in two months. Get into a call center for the time being.

6. You have resigned from your present company and will join a new
company only after three weeks time. Get into a call center, get the
training (that is spending some quality idle time) and leave after
three weeks or whenever you feel like

7. You have been inspired by the guy who smilingly appears in a call
center recruitment ad saying he has become the VP of the company in
three years seven months and twenty five days.

8. You think call center is all about fun, frolic and chicks (pick
ups...and drops...free that is)

9. You think it's cool. How uncool it is ask the guys who have left
the industry and joined some other industry without any hierarchical
or financial gain. How cool it is, ask the guys/gals who have become
managers in quickest possible time.

10. You want to polish your foreign language skills, English, Spanish,
Polish, French, German etc. Most of the call centers impart heavy duty
training on accent, personality, process etc. A similar training
outside will cost you more than the total salary you will get here in
your short stint.

11. Because you are brainwashed by your peers.

====================================================================
so friends my advice to you is never ever join a call center , you
have more knowledge and skills than wht u need for a call center,
just have some patience,
all of you will get a good job.

CHEERS,
MUNCHY....

Monday, May 14, 2007

Did you feel this way on your last day in college?

Did you feel this way on your last day in college?




Raah dekhi thi is din ki kabse
aage ke sapne saja rakhe the naajane kab se


Bade utavle the yahaan se jaane ko
zindagi ka agla padaav paane ko


par naa jane kyon ..dil mein aaj kuch aur aata hai
waqt ko rokne ka jee chahta hai


jin baton ko lekar rote the
aaj un par hansi aati hai
na jaane kyon aaj un palon ki yaad bahut aati hai


kaha karte the ..badi mushkil se dhai saal seh gaya
par aaj kyon lagta hai ki kuch peeche reh gaya


na bhoolne wali kuch yaadein reh gayi
kisi ki party to kisi ki coffee rah gayi


meri taang ab kaun kheencha karega
sirf mera sir khane kaun mera peecha karega


jahaan 2000 ka hisaab nahin wahaan 2 rupay ke liye kaun ladega
kaun raat bhar saath jag kar padega


KAUN MERI gaadi mujse pooche bina lejayega
kaun mere naye naye naam banayega


mein ab bina matlab kis se ladoonga
bina topic ke kisse faalto baat karoonga


kaun fail hone par dilasa dilayega
kaun galti se number aane par gaaliyaan sunayega


wo haseen pal ab kis ke saath jiyoonga
na jane kab main agle do ghoot piyoonga


aise dost kahaan milenge
jo khai mein bhi dhakka de aayein
par fir tumhein bachane khud bhi kood jayein


mere gaano se pareshaan kaun hoga
kabhi muje kisi ladki se baat karte dekh hairaan kaun hoga


kaun kahega saale tere joke pe hansi nahin aai
kaun peeche se bula ke kahega..aage dekh bhai


movies mein kiske saath dekhhonga
kis ke saath boring lectures jheloonga


achanak bin matlab ke kisi ko bhi dekh kar paglon ki tarah hansna
na jaane ye fir kab hoga
keh do doston ye dobaara sab hoga


doston ke liye professor se kab lad payenge
kya hum ye fir kar payenge


kaun muje mere kabiliyat par bharosa dilayega
aur jyada hawa mein udne par zameen pe layege


meri khushi mein sach mein khush kaun hoga
mere gam mein muj se jyada dukhi kaun hoga



na jaane ye fir kab hoga
keh do doston ye dobaara sab hoga

Friday, May 11, 2007

Best of funniest "Out-Of-Office" e-Mail Auto-Reply

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

· You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

· Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

· I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

· Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

· I love this..................... The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

· Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place,
and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

· Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

· Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

· I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE…

· I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.