Cool Hang-up Techniques

Cool Hang-up Techniques...(Really Fandu)

First caller:

Girl: Hello Sir, this is Pooja calling from Country Club.
Me: Hi Pooja!
Girl: Sir, we are offering life time Country Club membership for Rs.1.5 lakh only!
Me: Wow, what an offer! Only 1.5 lakh! How come so cheap?
Girl: Sir, I am not joking (with a chuckle).
Me: Neither me. You know, one of my friends already has Club Mahindra membership at Rs.1.5 lakh per year. Do you have any concession on group booking? I think we have around 8 people in my team.

Girl: Sir, along with this, you will get 2 air tickets to Goaabsolutely free!
Me: Free? I mean after becoming a member, isn't it?
Girl: We are also offering 8/6 site in Tumkur.
Me: What should I do with that site?
Girl: You know Sir, if you have more people in your group, you can have a farm house there …
Me: … where we can enjoy our retired life (continuing from where she left)
Girl: I am not joking, Sir!
Me: Who said that you are joking? Seriously Madam, I am serious. (can't control my loud laughter this time)
Girl: Ok Sir, I think you are not interested.
And she hangs up.

Second caller:

Girl: Hi Sir, this is Pooja calling from ICICI Bank.
Me: Oh, Pooja, nice to hear your voice!
Girl: (amused by reaction) Sir, we are offering home loans for 12% interest.
Me: Oh, is that so? It's good, but I have an offer from another bank which is giving home loan for only 2% interest!
Girl: Only 2% interest?
Me: Yeah, it's only 2%, seriously.
Girl: Which bank, Sir? I do not think any bank is offering at this interest rate.

Me: (lowering my voice) I can't tell you, you know it's a private bank!
Girl: No Sir, it's not possible. If that's the case, then, I'm also interested.
Me: If you want to know the name of the bank, give your mobile number or e-mail ID as I cannot disclose this information over phone. I am bound not to disclose the details.

Girl: Okay.
She disconnects the call.

Third caller:

Girl: Hello Sir, I am Pooja calling from …
Me: (interrupting her) Hang on for a moment ... (taking my time) ...Okay let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati"* with... sorry, I forgot your name?

Girl: Sorry …
Me: What's your name, Madam? Am I speaking in an alien language?
Girl: Pooja
Me: Audience, we have Pooja on our hot seat. Let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati" with Pooja. (of course, mimicking Big B's accent)

Here is the first question to Pooja for 1,000 rupees on your computer screen. (adding standard KBC music)
Which bank you are calling from? a) ICICI (b) HDFC (c) Deutsche (d) Others
Girl: Funny (light laugh)...Okay, I am calling from HDFC.
Me: Computer, please lock (b) HDFC …And yes (b) HDFC is the right answer. You have won 1,000 rupees!
Girl: Sir, are you interested in ... (again interruption by me)
Me: (my own voice) Aren't you enjoying it? I think YES (switching back to Big B voice again) Ready for another question? And here goes the second question for 2,000 rupees on your computer screen. What is the reason behind your call to me?

(a) Credit/debit card (b) Home loan/personal loan (c) Mutual fund (d) Others
Girl: Okay, it's enough. Are you interested in free Gold Credit Card offered by us?
Me: Oh no, wrong answer. Sorry Poojaji, I already have credit card from ICICI. I have been telling the participants that whenever you have doubt in mind, go for the life lines. And you have not used any of your life lines. What a pity!

She hangs up. (as expected) ID

--[[mAA fIrst ROCK sOng LYRICS]]--wriTTEn by mE of CourSe

||--life is a bitch,--||
||--n am a dog,--||
||--whose goNNa fcuk liFe,--||
||--aLL liFe Long--||

||--u kNw y,--||

||--cz i ain'T goNNa take anY shit 4m u,--||
||--no mAtter wHO mayb u,--||
||--u aInt goNNa sTab me behind maa bAcK,--||
||--if u hav d BALLS stab me on mAA 6 pAck,--||
||--u sTabbeD mE in d BACk,--||
||--n gav mE a LOT f PAIN,--||
||--bUT am soRRY freAkO,--||
||--won't let u fukn dO iT ever aGAin,--||

||--u knW y?--||

||--cz,--||
||--life is a bitch,--||
||--n am a dog,--||
||--whose goNNa fcuk liFe,--||
||--aLL liFe Long--||

||--it ain't easy 2 live without u,--||
||--but if u come back nw,--||
||--i'D hv 2 golDEn word 4 u,--||
||--*** U,--||
||--cz am no lOnger a sLAvE f maa mEMOriES,--||
||--i AM d mASter of maa MERCeNaRIES--||

||--u knW y?--||

||--cz,--||
||--life is a bitch,--||
||--n am a dog,--||
||--whose goNNa fcuk liFe,--||
||--aLL liFe Long--||

-->>reSerVation<<--eH!!!

Wipro chairman Mr. Azim Premji's comment on reservation:

I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely
support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start the
reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation
for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be
modified accordingly.


The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by
an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by an OBC player
should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be
declared as a century.


We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like
Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player.


Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 km/ hour to an OBC player.


Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.


Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an
OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters.


There can be reservation in Government jobs also. Let's recruit SC/ST and
OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians
(that can really help the country...)


Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers
and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country...)


Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIA forward...
Let's show the world that INDIA is a GREAT country.
Let's be proud of being an INDIAN...


May the good breed of politicians like ARJUN SINGH long live...