mU|\|c|-|y's BLOGS

[[mAA 2nd sOng]]

2007-09-20T12:38:00.000+05:30

time changes everythng,
but i aint gonna change,
i'll alwz b d same,
a kid at heart,
whose sweet and smart.

time is a teacher,
and am it's student,
who is a learner,
and smarter than his teacher,

there will b times,
whn u'll b down and out,
and worn out,
feel like givin up,
but u need 2 fight,
with all ur plight,
and beat the *** out of time.

time changes everythng,
but i aint gonna change,
i'll alwz b d same,
a kid at heart,
whose sweet and smart.

time is a carrier of pain and tears,
but i am gonna fight like the warrirors,
stand up tall till i am alive,
and stick a bee hive in the face of time.

I aint gonna lie down low,
coz i will show time,
how to stick and arrow up it's ass,
with my gold plated bow.

life mayb *** up,
and I maybe *** up,
but i aint gonna give up,
coz i am gng 2 stick it up...

time changes everythng,
but i aint gonna change,
i'll alwz b d same,
a kid at heart,
whose sweet and smart.

Sprite AD of software engineer

2007-09-12T14:30:00.000+05:30

Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad

Your Colleague : Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !!
Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh. Night out
Maar....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something
cool man !!

You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague : Impression!!! Appraisal !!! Har appraisal main tu No 1!
Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You : Phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!!
Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the
Company man !!

You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega !
Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.
Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

The quickest way to crash Windows 9x

2007-09-11T14:28:00.000+05:30

The quickest way to surely bring down a Windows 9x machine:

Open a DOS console
Start debug
f 0000:0000 ffff ff
Boom!

What happens is that we overwrite the "zero page" (which contains the interrupt table; including the IRQ vectors). Anything interrupt related (including the IRQ0 timer executed (normally) 18.2Hz) will make the processor jump to ffff:ffff, which doesn't contain any sensible code. Windows 9x is unable to recover from this.

Manually crash Windows XP

2007-09-11T14:24:00.000+05:30

First: I do not take credit for this. This is information that I read in an article, But I feel it is a nice bug, and should be spread around so that microsoft might one day decide to fix their bugs!
The Bug:
CSRSS.EXE is a windows critical process. Make it crash and your whole system will follow. This affects all versions of windows NT (from source, My own test was only on win2k)
But how do you make it crash? The point to remember is that CSRSS.EXE controls the output of console apps.
Also, CSRSS has a bug on how it handles the backspace character while printing.
So the followin print statement will cause a small bug to appear:
printf("Crashing Your PC byte by byte ")
This bug is that CSRSS has now backspaced one character to many! In efect, it has now backspaced through it's video buffer memory. If the problem repeats itself too many times, CSRSS will cause a memory violation. Which will then make Windows kill the CSRSS.EXE process which in itself makes windows kill itself.
Now, this affects all outputs to the console, so you can either put that code into a while loop, compile in the language of your choice (that produces console apps) OR simply replece the printf statement with a fprintf and have the user dump the contents of the file on his screen ('type file' in the shell)
Now, This is not a very serious thing. It will not cause hard disk corruption (unless the reboot causes it), will not delete files, etc... But it can make an interesting DoS attack by implanting it into some program run on startup.
Hope this doesn't help ;)

Manually crash Windows XP

2007-09-11T14:20:00.000+05:30

1. Start regedit. (If you are unfamiliar with regedit, please refer to this FAQ)
2. Navigate to:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\i8042prt\Parameters
3. Create a new DWORD value and name it CrashOnCtrlScroll
4. Right-click on this newly created value and click on Modify
5. Enter 1 in the Value data field and click on OK.
6. Close regedit and reboot your system.
7. Now you can blue screen (crash) your system by holding the right CTRL key and pressing "Scroll Lock" twice.

Note:

Your system may reboot or show a blue screen whenever this crash is initiated. If your system reboots after initiating the crash, and you want to see the blue screen, follow these steps:

1. Go to Control Panel > System
2. Click on the Advanced tab
3. Under Startup and Recovery, click the Settings button.
4. Under System failure, uncheck the option Automatically restart.
...

Cool Hang-up Techniques

2007-08-24T16:16:00.000+05:30

Cool Hang-up Techniques...(Really Fandu)

First caller:

Girl: Hello Sir, this is Pooja calling from Country Club.
Me: Hi Pooja!
Girl: Sir, we are offering life time Country Club membership for Rs.1.5 lakh only!
Me: Wow, what an offer! Only 1.5 lakh! How come so cheap?
Girl: Sir, I am not joking (with a chuckle).
Me: Neither me. You know, one of my friends already has Club Mahindra membership at Rs.1.5 lakh per year. Do you have any concession on group booking? I think we have around 8 people in my team.

Girl: Sir, along with this, you will get 2 air tickets to Goaabsolutely free!
Me: Free? I mean after becoming a member, isn't it?
Girl: We are also offering 8/6 site in Tumkur.
Me: What should I do with that site?
Girl: You know Sir, if you have more people in your group, you can have a farm house there …
Me: … where we can enjoy our retired life (continuing from where she left)
Girl: I am not joking, Sir!
Me: Who said that you are joking? Seriously Madam, I am serious. (can't control my loud laughter this time)
Girl: Ok Sir, I think you are not interested.
And she hangs up.

Second caller:

Girl: Hi Sir, this is Pooja calling from ICICI Bank.
Me: Oh, Pooja, nice to hear your voice!
Girl: (amused by reaction) Sir, we are offering home loans for 12% interest.
Me: Oh, is that so? It's good, but I have an offer from another bank which is giving home loan for only 2% interest!
Girl: Only 2% interest?
Me: Yeah, it's only 2%, seriously.
Girl: Which bank, Sir? I do not think any bank is offering at this interest rate.

Me: (lowering my voice) I can't tell you, you know it's a private bank!
Girl: No Sir, it's not possible. If that's the case, then, I'm also interested.
Me: If you want to know the name of the bank, give your mobile number or e-mail ID as I cannot disclose this information over phone. I am bound not to disclose the details.

Girl: Okay.
She disconnects the call.

Third caller:

Girl: Hello Sir, I am Pooja calling from …
Me: (interrupting her) Hang on for a moment ... (taking my time) ...Okay let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati"* with... sorry, I forgot your name?

Girl: Sorry …
Me: What's your name, Madam? Am I speaking in an alien language?
Girl: Pooja
Me: Audience, we have Pooja on our hot seat. Let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati" with Pooja. (of course, mimicking Big B's accent)

Here is the first question to Pooja for 1,000 rupees on your computer screen. (adding standard KBC music)
Which bank you are calling from? a) ICICI (b) HDFC (c) Deutsche (d) Others
Girl: Funny (light laugh)...Okay, I am calling from HDFC.
Me: Computer, please lock (b) HDFC …And yes (b) HDFC is the right answer. You have won 1,000 rupees!
Girl: Sir, are you interested in ... (again interruption by me)
Me: (my own voice) Aren't you enjoying it? I think YES (switching back to Big B voice again) Ready for another question? And here goes the second question for 2,000 rupees on your computer screen. What is the reason behind your call to me?

(a) Credit/debit card (b) Home loan/personal loan (c) Mutual fund (d) Others
Girl: Okay, it's enough. Are you interested in free Gold Credit Card offered by us?
Me: Oh no, wrong answer. Sorry Poojaji, I already have credit card from ICICI. I have been telling the participants that whenever you have doubt in mind, go for the life lines. And you have not used any of your life lines. What a pity!

She hangs up. (as expected) ID

--[[mAA fIrst ROCK sOng LYRICS]]--wriTTEn by mE of CourSe

2007-08-24T13:18:00.000+05:30

||--life is a bitch,--||
||--n am a dog,--||
||--whose goNNa fcuk liFe,--||
||--aLL liFe Long--||

||--u kNw y,--||

||--cz i ain'T goNNa take anY shit 4m u,--||
||--no mAtter wHO mayb u,--||
||--u aInt goNNa sTab me behind maa bAcK,--||
||--if u hav d BALLS stab me on mAA 6 pAck,--||
||--u sTabbeD mE in d BACk,--||
||--n gav mE a LOT f PAIN,--||
||--bUT am soRRY freAkO,--||
||--won't let u fukn dO iT ever aGAin,--||

||--u knW y?--||

||--cz,--||
||--life is a bitch,--||
||--n am a dog,--||
||--whose goNNa fcuk liFe,--||
||--aLL liFe Long--||

||--it ain't easy 2 live without u,--||
||--but if u come back nw,--||
||--i'D hv 2 golDEn word 4 u,--||
||--*** U,--||
||--cz am no lOnger a sLAvE f maa mEMOriES,--||
||--i AM d mASter of maa MERCeNaRIES--||

||--u knW y?--||

||--cz,--||
||--life is a bitch,--||
||--n am a dog,--||
||--whose goNNa fcuk liFe,--||
||--aLL liFe Long--||

-->>reSerVation<<--eH!!!

2007-08-24T13:17:00.001+05:30

Wipro chairman Mr. Azim Premji's comment on reservation:

I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely
support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start the
reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation
for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be
modified accordingly.

The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by
an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by an OBC player
should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be
declared as a century.

We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like
Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player.

Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 km/ hour to an OBC player.

Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.

Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an
OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters.

There can be reservation in Government jobs also. Let's recruit SC/ST and
OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians
(that can really help the country...)

Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers
and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country...)

Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIA forward...
Let's show the world that INDIA is a GREAT country.
Let's be proud of being an INDIAN...

May the good breed of politicians like ARJUN SINGH long live...

fUnnY qUotes....mY fAvs...

2007-07-09T15:36:00.000+05:30

» Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

» If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

» I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

» I’m smiling. This should scare you.

» The universe is laughing behind your back.

» Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

» I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

» A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

» I’m not sure what’s wrong… But it’s probably your fault.

» This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

» I never admit or deny anything it makes me more interesting.

» By the time you read this you’ve already read it.

» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

» I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

A tribute 2 all d SW Engg.

2007-06-19T17:04:00.000+05:30

Apne Project ke bojh tale daba jaa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

zindagi se hara hua hai,

par "Bugs" se haar nahi manata,

Apne application ki ek ek line ise rati hui hai,

par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain , ye nahi janata,

din par din ek excel file banata ja raha hai

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

das hazaar line ke code main error dhoond lete hain lekin,

majboor dost ki ankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti,

pc pe hazaar windows khuli hain,

par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti,

satuday-sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naharaha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

Coding karte karte pata hi nahi chala,

bugs ki priority kab maa-baap se high ho gayi,

kitabon main gulab rakhne wala , cigerette ke dhuyen main kho gaya,

dil ki zameen se armaanon ki vidayi ho gayi,

weekends pe daroo peke jo jashna mana raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

maze lena ho iske to pooch lo,

"Salary Increment" ki party kab dila rahe ho,

hansi udana ho to pooch lo,

"Onsite" kab ja rahe ho?

wo dekho onsite se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

kharche badh rahe hain,

baal kam ho rahe hain,

KRA ki date ati nahi,

Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,

lo phir se bus choot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

Pizza gale se nahi utarta,

to "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai,

office ki "Thali" dekh munh hai bigadta,

maa ke hath ka wo khana baar roz yaad ata hai,

"Sprout bhel" bani hai phir bhi, free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiya,

Software engg. ke jivan ka sach batati ye akhri kuch panktiyan,

hazaron ki tankhwah wala, company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,

software engg. wahi ban sakta hai, jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,

hum log jee jee ke marte hain , zindagi hai kuch aisi,

ek fauj ki naukri, doosri software engg. ki , dono ek jaisi,

is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

career counSeLLin - y (not)2 joIn a cALL cEntEr..

2007-06-13T13:33:00.001+05:30

1. You have not finished your studies. You know mainstream knowledge
based companies will not touch you.

2. You have just passed high school. Or failed in high school. Reason
enough to join a call center.

3. You have become senior, only by age, without any significant
experience on any industry vertical.

4. You want to get rid of your present job at any cost

5. Your MBA/Engineering/GMAT/TOEFL/GRE/MCA entrance exam result will
be out in two months. Get into a call center for the time being.

6. You have resigned from your present company and will join a new
company only after three weeks time. Get into a call center, get the
training (that is spending some quality idle time) and leave after
three weeks or whenever you feel like

7. You have been inspired by the guy who smilingly appears in a call
center recruitment ad saying he has become the VP of the company in
three years seven months and twenty five days.

8. You think call center is all about fun, frolic and chicks (pick
ups...and drops...free that is)

9. You think it's cool. How uncool it is ask the guys who have left
the industry and joined some other industry without any hierarchical
or financial gain. How cool it is, ask the guys/gals who have become
managers in quickest possible time.

10. You want to polish your foreign language skills, English, Spanish,
Polish, French, German etc. Most of the call centers impart heavy duty
training on accent, personality, process etc. A similar training
outside will cost you more than the total salary you will get here in
your short stint.

11. Because you are brainwashed by your peers.

====================================================================
so friends my advice to you is never ever join a call center , you
have more knowledge and skills than wht u need for a call center,
just have some patience,
all of you will get a good job.

CHEERS,
MUNCHY....

Did you feel this way on your last day in college?

2007-05-14T15:19:00.000+05:30

Did you feel this way on your last day in college?

Raah dekhi thi is din ki kabse
aage ke sapne saja rakhe the naajane kab se

Bade utavle the yahaan se jaane ko
zindagi ka agla padaav paane ko

par naa jane kyon ..dil mein aaj kuch aur aata hai
waqt ko rokne ka jee chahta hai

jin baton ko lekar rote the
aaj un par hansi aati hai
na jaane kyon aaj un palon ki yaad bahut aati hai

kaha karte the ..badi mushkil se dhai saal seh gaya
par aaj kyon lagta hai ki kuch peeche reh gaya

na bhoolne wali kuch yaadein reh gayi
kisi ki party to kisi ki coffee rah gayi

meri taang ab kaun kheencha karega
sirf mera sir khane kaun mera peecha karega

jahaan 2000 ka hisaab nahin wahaan 2 rupay ke liye kaun ladega
kaun raat bhar saath jag kar padega

KAUN MERI gaadi mujse pooche bina lejayega
kaun mere naye naye naam banayega

mein ab bina matlab kis se ladoonga
bina topic ke kisse faalto baat karoonga

kaun fail hone par dilasa dilayega
kaun galti se number aane par gaaliyaan sunayega

wo haseen pal ab kis ke saath jiyoonga
na jane kab main agle do ghoot piyoonga

aise dost kahaan milenge
jo khai mein bhi dhakka de aayein
par fir tumhein bachane khud bhi kood jayein

mere gaano se pareshaan kaun hoga
kabhi muje kisi ladki se baat karte dekh hairaan kaun hoga

kaun kahega saale tere joke pe hansi nahin aai
kaun peeche se bula ke kahega..aage dekh bhai

movies mein kiske saath dekhhonga
kis ke saath boring lectures jheloonga

achanak bin matlab ke kisi ko bhi dekh kar paglon ki tarah hansna
na jaane ye fir kab hoga
keh do doston ye dobaara sab hoga

doston ke liye professor se kab lad payenge
kya hum ye fir kar payenge

kaun muje mere kabiliyat par bharosa dilayega
aur jyada hawa mein udne par zameen pe layege

meri khushi mein sach mein khush kaun hoga
mere gam mein muj se jyada dukhi kaun hoga

na jaane ye fir kab hoga
keh do doston ye dobaara sab hoga

Best of funniest "Out-Of-Office" e-Mail Auto-Reply

2007-05-11T12:47:00.001+05:30

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

· You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

· Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

· I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

· Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

· I love this..................... The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

· Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place,
and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

· Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

· Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

· I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE…

· I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.

Best of funniest "Out-Of-Office" e-Mail Auto-Reply

2007-05-11T12:47:00.000+05:30